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the paper's a sleeve i wear my heart on
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| prelude to a wish-wash of emotions. |
[Friday
March 28th, 2008 at 6:57pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
] |
this is just a metaphorical escape.
a what?
a metaphorical escape. ever felt the need to hide yourself in your words? to hide yourself from the world and pretend that that hero in your story isn't you? fiction. fiction. but where does fiction come from? it is reality, twisted and turned, molded like clay to fit one's likes. this is what i like about writing. i could die in my words, and be alive in them just the same.
this, by the way, is my, erm, fiction/semi-fiction/poetry journal. i find it hard to keep track of my works, me being as organized as the next cow out there, so i felt that i need to have one place to stash my works in. or what's left of it. please, please, please feel free to leave comments, even harsh ones, because i really appreciate them. new friends are always good, so feel free to add me too. :) most stuff are probably those written years/months back. i'll upload them one or several at a time...
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[Sunday
February 18th, 2007 at 10:42pm] |
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mood |
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 . |
] |
stop the music.
halt in the middle of the dance.
emanate silence instead of a song.
forgo the merry-making.
getting up there, being up high, only means one thing. you have to be ready to be bumped down. so stop now, take a breather. be ok with being broken, even when you think there's nothing in you left to break. they say faith blinds you, and love makes you see things through rose-colored glasses... so what makes us see reality then? cynicism? if that is so, then be the cynic now. be your own antithesis. be the girl who can turn her heart to stone when needed. it's better this way, you see. less pain.
but then again... maybe you shouldn't.
because pain doesn't really hurt...
when it's almost all you've ever felt.
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[Wednesday
January 3rd, 2007 at 11:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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... |
] |
can you blame a girl for falling?
it wasn't that he was rich, or handsome, or charming. it wasn't that he was witty, intelligent, smart. it wasn't that he was artistic, or musically-inclined, had a way with words, and was naturally talented. it wasn't the ease of friendship he could bring, or the confines of security, or the niceties of commitment. it wasn't the fact that he had a smile that could melt cold hearts in an instant, or that he had caring eyes that could make you feel like they're subtly searching your soul. she didn't fall for all that.
what she fell for were his flaws- the intricacies of his sadness, the twistedness of his thoughts- that make up the brevity of his soul, the courage of his spirit. it was his hidden brokenness, his masked weaknesses, the profound desperation beneath his happy-go-lucky facade that never fails to make her knees grow weak, and her heart go out to him. it was the tears he shed but tried to conceal, those moments that he allowed his vulnerability to show through, that made her grow to be more and more enamored by him. he was, at times, callous, cold, and frighteningly violent, and that was when she wanted most to never leave his side. he had so much, and yet so little. he always looks as if he's living a perfect life, but in truth, he was more shattered and empty than she was. and this- this made her yearn to make him whole.
can you blame her for falling?
...when she felt that he needed her more than he'd ever let on. when it was him that awakened every ounce of passion, every morsel of usefulness in her frail physique. when he came at just the right moment- that second when she'd lost all she'd been living for. she'd been looking for a reason- something to wake up for everyday- and there he was, arriving right into her life, knocking into pieces of her then broken heart. he needed rescuing, and by allowing herself to play hero, she'd been unwittingly coming to terms with all that she needed to accept. by nursing his wounds, he'd been healing her own. scathed much, she was. but pain was no big thing when she thought of how much worse off he is.
he'd tapped into her soul, just as it was dying.
can you blame me for falling?
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[Monday
November 13th, 2006 at 1:47am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sleepy |
] |
blue and black they glimmered in the light
remnants, testimonies to yesterday's fight
tears flowed to almost form a puddle on the floor
as she wished with all her might
for things to go back the way they were before
for the bruises would soon heal, leaving no mark on her skin
but the scars they would inculcate would all stay within.
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| scribble |
[Friday
November 10th, 2006 at 11:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 creative |
] |
[for some reason, i've gotten the urge to write poetry again. and though i'm in love with free verse, i've been rhyming lately. haha. this one's written today. seems bitin, though. but oh well. it came up from out of the blue.]
she held her pen poised over paper
drops of ink tainting the pristine whiteness
stark black figures that boldly whisper
of hints to her soul's intricate sadness
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[Friday
November 10th, 2006 at 11:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blank |
] |
[i know, i know, this is a total cliche. but what the heck. written yesterday.]
i wrapped myself in silence
for words are hard to find
but in my heart i'm wishing
that fate would choose to be so kind
as to grant me enough time
to hold you in my arms
to heal the scars etched in your heart
and envelop you with my warmth
pave a better path for you to walk upon
as i chase your nightmares away
tentatively whisper words i hope would be
the ones that'd make your day
i choose to gaze from where i am
for i shan't get too close
but right beside you, i'll always be
though i know i'm only your friend
at most.
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| the night shone with beauty |
[Friday
November 10th, 2006 at 11:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bored |
] |
<written last october 25, 2006>
the night shone with beauty
moonlight bounced off the road
cold air wrapped itself around me
as i walked my way to my abode
the night shone with beauty
people's chatter echoed all around
i hugged my sweater to me tightly
for warmth is yet to be found
the night shone with beauty
stars twinkled in the sky
but all i feel is melancholy
because you bade my life goodbye
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| moonlit goodbye |
[Tuesday
June 20th, 2006 at 1:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 drowsy |
] |
dance beneath the moon we did
with stars as witnesses
to every painstaking intake of breath you make
fear and vulnerability tangible
etched in our eyes
angels watching, beckoning
and i plead,
just a few more moments, please...
fluid grace and flowing love
emanating from every step, every twirl
teary-eyed and weary we were
wishing all was a reverie
and yet, drinking in
the intoxicating truth
summoning all strength
from within
holding on, not giving up
savoring the essence
each split moment
of this last dance
beneath the moon...
before your final surrender.
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| take me away... [june 16, 2005] |
[Wednesday
June 14th, 2006 at 2:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
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runaway- the corrs |
] |
Take me with you…
Fly me to the moon, take me to the stars. We’ll build castles in the air together. We’ll dance to the midnight breeze, run like wild in the fields, pick flowers, sing songs. We’ll bask in sunglow, catch moonbeams, bathe in twilight. Hand in hand, we’ll fly. Over buildings, over mountains, over everything else.
I’ll leave all my monsters behind, Pandora’s box unopened. I promise.
Just please… take me away…
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| [june 7, 2005] |
[Wednesday
June 14th, 2006 at 2:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
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my heartbeat |
] |
so damn cold in here...
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| shattered, as only shards of glass could be. |
[Saturday
June 10th, 2006 at 11:27am] |
| [ |
mood |
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torn |
] |
i'm letting my fingers do all the work. *babble, babble, babble*
go fingers, trail over the keys... *tap, tap, tap* ahahahah.
[untitled]
magic moment as the wind blew and trees swayed
one hand clutched in mine, fingers interlaced
my heart with another, trying to forget
all the pain, hurt, feelings of regret
i walk along this well-trodden path and ask myself
since when did they manage to make a hollow in me
a place to call home, to linger in and be free?
since when did i allow them to get past my walls
when the last time i checked, i was barricaded in and all?
and how to choose between sun and moon?
which is happier, may or june?
in a bubble i contain all confusion
plaster a makeshift smile on a tear-stained face
thinking that at the end of the road, a decision i must make
knowing that when i do, one heart would have to break
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| written around may 2005 as well. |
[Wednesday
March 29th, 2006 at 4:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crazy |
] |
this one's kind of... weird. plus, i don't usually write using filipino, but i did in this one. plus, it's sort of long. well, longer than my usual... it won't make sense if you don't finish it. i really want comments on this one, and all the others too... comments please? *pleading eyes*
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| another sappy one! -__-; |
[Wednesday
March 29th, 2006 at 4:02am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 lethargic |
] |
i found this one at the back of my closet. it was one of the many sappy pseudo-fiction stories i wrote way back in high school...
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| written on may 18, 2005 |
[Wednesday
March 29th, 2006 at 3:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
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creative |
] |
| [ |
music |
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a moment like this- kelly clarkson |
] |
i alternated the lines of the song with a poem of mine. don't read it ng dire-diretso. haha. :)
forgive my sappy-ness. and cheesiness.
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